Whew…
It has been an interesting morning. Currently, It’s 8:45 am on a Tuesday and I just finished watching two episodes of the Netflix documentary, “The Family.”
For those of you who don’t know, I’ll sum it up:
Basically a bunch of white men decided that “Jesus” (strong emphasis on this name because this group’s views seem strangely un-Christ-like) chooses certain men (all white, I would like to add) to lead the country to greatness. These men have a weird brothel/fraternity house/probably-excuse-for-gay-sex house where they have young 20 somethings quite literally scrub their toilets, while they pray for the strength they need to turn the US into a imperialist dumpster-fire.
Meanwhile the leader used to use ideas of Hitler and Stalin to teach his followers how to form a “silent movement.”
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. It’s messier than this season of Bachelor in Paradise.
And that shit is messy. But I digress…
This docu-series was probably (ironically) recommended to me by the same algorithm that suggested I watch “The Great Hack” which follows the turmoil of Cambridge Analytica and the drama with Facebook election tampering.
Let me break that one down for you: A bunch of white men, (with the help of a woman who went from working in human rights to being buddy-buddy with Steve Bannon?!?) hacked into our Facebook accounts using a “quiz”, stole our data, and sent propaganda to people who were likely to be swayed in the Presidential election. This company also interfered in elections all over the world and essentially used social media against the people, yet again proving that we are nothing more than dumb lab rats waiting for a pellet.
So what is my rant about, exactly?
I’m exhausted.
Social media has become one giant skid mark on the undergarment of my life. I wake up each morning to check Instagram. I watch stories of people I have only mild interest in. I have deleted Facebook off my phone ever since a family member decided to go on a racist, anti-immigration rant. However, I still check it on my computer. I get angry when I see women getting too flirty with my husband on social media. I get sad when I see women with thigh gaps, and zero cellulite, even though I know it’s all photoshopped.
And every where I fucking go is another #ad.
I feel like I’m just a passive puppet in some gigantic right-wing, Christian-touting, scheme that has resolved me to feel nothing more than a piece of cattle to be bought, sold, and slaughtered.
I recently noticed that my Instagram stopped getting as many likes as it used to get. (FYI: Posts with my husband get 3x the likes, and that’s because he looks like a black Avenger)
And I got sad. Like, I-feel-like-a-piece-of-shitty-shit sad.
Why? It’s not like I’m making money off Instragram. It’s not like I don’t have friends. Hell, I’m with people I love 7 days a week. So why am I upset that a selfie I took in natural light with no makeup on got 7 likes, or that a cover song I posted got 100 views? Why do I care that I’m not hot enough, thin enough, or talented for social media?
Because they want me to feel worthless. I don’t have any #clout. I’m not having a #hotgirlsummer. I don’t drink the toxic “tea” that probably is just a heavy laxative with cheap strawberry flavor that makes hot girls shit themselves until they’re skinny.
I don’t #wantitigotit. I want it, then I realize I have too much student loan debt, and I envy others for having it.
I’m so fucking tired.
I’m tired.
This all just seem trite. My passive brain is addicted to my photo stream, and my active brain hurts because we have a bunch of idiot, Nazis, with nuclear weapons running the world.
I tried to think of a way to tie this post up like a little bow and give some glimmer of hope, but I’m just bummed today.
Hey… maybe I’ll go back on social media and see what Chrissy Teigen is up to. At least she makes me laugh
❤ S
Shannon Allen 