I’ve been talking to a lot of my single friends lately.
The conversation is always the same:
“Why the fuck can’t I find a decent man/woman to date?!?!”
Now, my friends with significant others… you can choose to ignore this post, because it’s not for you. Go have sex or watch House of Cards together, or something people in relationships do.
Also, let me just give my two cents on something. I UNDERSTAND that there are many functioning Millennials (ie, those born between the early 80s and early 00s, perhaps give and take), who are in committed, successful and loving relationships. However, I feel like many of us who didn’t find love when we were younger (think: high school/college sweethearts) have a much more difficult time dating in the post-apocalyptic college days where we’re forced to work underpaying jobs, are busy as hell, and realize it’s a hell of a lot harder to meet people when you live in “the real world.”
And next time you relationship-ers roll your eyes at us single-as-FUCK human beings, or you think to yourself, “Wouldn’t it be nice to be single again??” consider these points.
REASONS WHY MY GENERATION SUCKS AT DATING:
(Note: I’m guilty of pretty much every single one of these, so don’t think I’m here to judge)
1. No one actually SPEAKS to each other when in the “courting” process.
Texting is as convenient as ever. In fact, I’m currently texting from my computer while I’m writing this blog. I can literally send a message to anyone in my contact list right now without even picking up my phone, speaking any words, or missing the other million things I’m doing in my life.
Texting is a good thing. It makes it easy to communicate to people throughout the day when you physically cannot speak. I get it.
WE GET IT.
But we are human beings. We have emotions, and vocal inflections, and sometimes we laugh and it doesn’t actually sound anything like “ha ha ha” or “lol.”
Also… IF YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD, STOP TYPING “LOL”
Sorry, that’s a personal pet peeve of mine.
I don’t care how many fucking emoticons or emojis you use in a text, there are things that get lost in translation.
Also, a person has the opportunity to be bolder in a text. Hiding behind a computer or a phone is a hell of a lot easier that telling someone how you really feel to their face.
I’m an avid texter, but I think it’s important to pick up the phone once in a while. It shows initiative, interest, respect. Hell, it’s so easy to Skype or FaceTime someone, that’s even BETTER.
I like you! I want to get to know you! I want to hear your voice and see your face!
Let’s be humans, not robots.
2. Tinder/Grindr have taken over Match.com
…or for that matter, organically meeting anyone anywhere…
Again, online dating is a good thing. I know plenty of people who are in incredible relationships based on people they’ve met online.
However, online dating should now be called: “I want to have sex with someone, so I’m going to go on an app where it’s socially acceptable for me to ask a person point-blank to give me a blow job, when I’ve only seen five pictures of them and don’t know anything about them other than their name, age and how far away they are from me.”
Online dating has been cheapened.
I have a Tinder. I’ve met up with people on Tinder. If I were gay, I would probably have a Grindr. But the problem with these sites is they not only give us the opportunity to cheapen others, they make us cheapen ourselves. They substitute the casual hookup for actual human emotion.
3. Facebook allows a person to think they “know” us before they meet us
This can be a dangerous one.
Facebook, Twitter, Googling, all keep us from letting us form our own opinions of a person.
I’m sure there are tons of things on my Facebook that might make me look like a great person. There are also probably tons of things that I write or post that may, in fact, turn someone completely off if they don’t really know me or my personality.
Now here’s where things get scary.
Did you know that there is an app called Lulu, that lets women rate men, kind of like Yelp.
While it’s not really mean-spirited, per se; Lulu asks questions about the men a woman has hooked up with, dated, been friends with and rates then from 1 – 10. Then, Lulu allows you to add hashtags for “good” and “bad” qualities. Example: a “good” hastag would be #CuddleMonster or #AinAnatomy. A “bad” hashtag would be something like #ManChild or #WanderingEye.
I downloaded it out of curiosity and found out some things I maybe didn’t want to know about a person I was interested in.
I wish I hadn’t.
Because now every time I look at that person, I’m thinking someone else’s opinion, instead of forming my own.
I can see where this app developer is coming from. All women are interested in vetting their potential men. We all want to know if he’s a “good guy” or a “bad guy.”
But things are seldom black or white. And we also don’t know the circumstances under which any of these relationships happened.
How can we even hope to open ourselves up to another person, if we can’t even formulate our own opinion of them through ACTUAL HUMAN CONTACT. (Do I see a repeating pattern here??)
4. Drink dates/late night hookups have replaced dinner and a movie
I’ve lived in New York City for almost two years. I’ve been on two dates where someone has actually called me, made a concrete plan, and taken me out somewhere.
I’ve been on about 1,500 “drink things,” “causal meet ups,” or “let’s-chill-and-watch-a-movie-tonight things.”
I understand not having a lot of money. But there are about 1,500+ activities we could do that do NOT cost money.
It’s just a matter of putting in some effort.
And having some respect for another person.
On that note…
5. We need to be drunk or high to express how we truly feel, because that is our best justification for being emotional
Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly putting the proverbial band-aid on my heart to keep me from ever getting hurt.
I don’t generally allow myself to tell someone of the opposite sex that I’m interested in them, or be honest about basically any of my feelings, in fear of getting hurt or the feeling not being reciprocated.
But somehow, being physically impaired gives me a “get out of jail free” card when it comes to displaying my emotions.
6. No one is able to display one ounce of emotion without being made to feel “crazy” or “clingy”
The minute we allow ourselves to get “excited” or “interested,” or… I don’t know… want to get to know another person for who they really are, we run the risk of being called “crazy.”
This one kills me.
Being labeled “crazy” is emotionally damaging.
And people who are labeled as such, are usually not, in fact, “crazy.”
Tell ‘em JLaw!
7. The grass is always greener, even when it’s actually just the same shade of green with different rough patches
Because we are so connected to infinite amounts of people through social media, the grass always tends to look greener.
Social media isn’t always to blame either. In NYC, I can throw a rock and hit about 10 attractive, single men.
Many times, I’ll hear friends complain that someone they’ve been “talking” to has stopped talking to them and begun to pursue other options.
But does the person who is always chasing after the next best thing, really believe that “thing” is better??
Is he/she “better?”
Or is he/she just fucked up in a different way than the last person you dated? He has different quirks than the last guy you dated. She has nicer thighs, but smaller boobs.
If we continue to chase after something better, we’re going to be running forever.
8. Instant gratification is not only important, it’s expected
You are not a “prude” if you don’t put out on the first date.
So why does it feel like it?
Have we all lost so much respect for each other that there can be no patience when it comes to getting physical? Not to diminish the importance of physical chemistry, but there is something to be said for two people being intimate with each other, that has become so watered down with my generation.
I’m all about being sexually liberated. I believe in making your own choices about how to to express yourself sexually.
But this isn’t so much about sex, as it is about respect.
9. Past relationships ruin future prospects
We all have that one (or two, or three) exes we are not fond of.
They hurt us. Slayed our emotions. Fucked us up.
But we cannot go into every single new relationship thinking that everyone is out to get us.
I have a BIG problem with this one.
I’ll admit that, straight up.
I’ve also been on the receiving end of this, and it’s not fun. Being compared to someone who you are absolutely different from, is not fair. So it’s not fair of us to think that just because “he did this” or “she did that” that all our future significant others will too.
10. We lie to ourselves
I’m a glass-half-full type of girl. I find good in everyone. I want to believe that everyone is inherently good, but with some bad quirks or tendencies.
However, I feel like I sometimes only see the good, and ignore the bad.
When we can’t let ourselves see that something isn’t working or a person is treating us shitty, it is often impossible from getting out of a tumultuous situation, therefore just fucking us up even more for the next person who comes along.
11. We lie to others
If you don’t like me, or are not longer interested in me…
Stop disappearing, or saying “I’m busy,” when all you really want to do is cut me out.
This infuriates me.
I don’t expect every person I start talking to, to be “the one,” but just because it’s not going to work out, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the respect of you telling me it’s over.
And if we are indeed dating, please don’t be afraid to tell me when you’re upset, anxious, angry, uncomfortable, or any other array of negative emotions.
Relationships are not just built on rainbows and sunshine.
12. We tell ourselves we aren’t good enough
How many times have I been ignored by a man and had this thought?
Too many times.
Sometimes the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me,” is actually applicable, even if the person doesn’t outright say it.
If you’ve got your own demons to work out, please let me know, and don’t make me feel like a fucking idiot for wanting to be with you.
13. We knows nothing, about anything
How many times have my friends in relationships asked me this:
And my answer is: I have not a fucking clue.
So here’s to my generation. Here’s to the hopeless romantics who are navigating this big, wide world on our own, trying to figure out all the “rules” of dating, while simultaneously throwing away the rulebook.
Some day (hopefully) we’ll all look back at this period of our lives and laugh.
Until then, I’m going to keep collecting dating stories, so I can have great fodder for my book.
Shannon Rose Allen
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Or as I like to call it: Singles Awareness Day.
Now for those of you who are celebrating with your significant others, have fun with your boos.
I will be drinking.
So this particular post, stemmed from a Facebook post I had earlier this month.
It looked like this.
And being that it is Valentine’s Day (Singles Awareness Day), what better way to celebrate than by making a list of things I would rather be in a romantic relationship with, other than an actual human being.
As I stated earlier, I LOVE my makeup. Getting ready for set every day consists of me putting on my “full face,” as does going out at night. I love that I can dress my face to fit my personality. I LOVE when I get a compliment about my makeup. I’m always learning new tricks and exploring new products.
And the beauty is, I choose when and where I wear my makeup. I choose how much I want to put on, and I decide how beautiful I look in it.
Sometimes, it even covers up little imperfections that happen from time to time. And gives me just that little extra oomph I need.
I wear the makeup, it does not wear me.
And makeup just makes me feel:
And when I wear it, I can transform into a Queen.
And walk around saying,
I love food.
(Except maybe mayonnaise.)
I could literally talk about food all damn day. I feel like I have an emotional connection to my food. I can give you several descriptive adjectives about the goat cheese, bison burger I ate the other day. If you really want to hear them all, please message me.
In fact, I think I had an out-of-body experience when I ate a piece of chocolate cake on set the other day.
I mean seriously… I was going like this:
In the past six months I’ve actually become a much healthier eater than I used to be. However, that does not mean I compromise my tastebuds. It also does not mean I deprive myself into starvation. I just simply cannot. I’ve learned how to make healthy choices and still indulge on foods that might not always be the best choices. Because life is all about give and take.
Everything in moderation, as they say.
So, while you’re over there sipping on your lemon water, I’ll be over here.
And yet, food is complicated, because sometimes unhealthy food is like the bad ex-boyfriend I keep going back to. Occasionally, I’ll lose my mind and go crazy with portion control.
And I’ll pick myself apart…
And then I’ll get sad because I’m not a size 0, and I’m an actress…
But then I just remember my spirit animal, JLaw:
And then I’ll just go back to eating and being happy. Because unlike a boyfriend, food will always be there for me. And even though we might go through some rough patches, food and I will always make up.
3. Teddy Bears/Pillows/Anything Fluffy
I don’t care how stupid you might think I am for this next one.
I really don’t.
Even if you think I look like this:
Because I believe I watched Marky Mark (arguably one of the hottest men in Hollywood,) fall in love with a Teddy Bear named Ted and you all loved him too!
And because this:
I mean seriously people… I’m done defending myself.
Sometimes when shit gets bad, I just want to hug someone. And if someone isn’t around, the closest fluffy thing will do… especially if it’s cute AND fluffy AND has a smile on it’s face.
It also doesn’t judge me.
SO DON’T JUDGE ME, MONKEY!
And when I’ve gotten my hug and my cuddle then I go back to being like:
This category is great because there are so many varieties! And just like men, I can try them all out!
Ron Swanson knows best:
So first, I have wine. Wine is the smart, yet pretentious, man who can sometimes be aloof, but at the same time makes me feel good. I like to chill with wine. Wine makes me want to get a little romantic, maybe be a little bit of a sap, and listen to Coltrane.
But sometimes wine is too boring, and I want more adventure…
So I move to vodka. Vodka is fun! Spunky! The life of the party! Who wants another shot??? VODKA DOES!
But sometimes vodka is just a little TOO much, and I think I might need something more down to Earth.
So I move on to beer: the cute, cuddly, bearded hipster that makes me laugh. Beer doesn’t judge. Beer is up for a good time, but is just a little bit tamer than crazy ol’ vodka.
And it was THE GREATEST BEER IN ALL THE WORLD.
Until I realize that beer never left college, and he’s still reliving his glory days as the beer pong champion of his University.
So I decide, maybe it’s time to take a walk on the wild side and try…
Aaaaaaaaand moving on.
So at this point, I’m finally done. I just want to find that PERFECT drink. That alcohol that gives me everything I ever wanted.
And then, I suddenly remember…. He’s been there ALL ALONG and I was just to blind to notice.
And I might even graduate to his older, wiser brother, scotch.
And yet there is no shame in going back and forth between alcohols, because they all have their strengths and weaknesses, just like we do. And alcohol does not care how callous we are with it’s feelings.
And at the end of the night, alcohol will make me feel like a million bucks!
Plus… come on. If I were drunk, would I be able to do THIS?!
Which leads me to:
Music and dancing is something I can be completely and utterly shameless about. Music is never there to judge me, and no one can pull me out of my dancing shoes if they tried their damnedest.
There is nothing better than being in a bad mood, and putting on my favorite record.
And every time I hear a song that I love, my face is usually something like this:
And then I’ll start getting excited.
I’ll usually want to sing along, or start dancing. And since I’m a musician… I usually do just that.
Sometimes the dancing is a bit abstract.
Sometimes the dancing is fun-loving.
Sometimes it’s suggestive.
Or I’ll start tumbling.
I’ll even throw in some DIVA
And then there are certain songs.
The songs that just make me happy to be alive.
The songs that can move my SOUL. They can be pop, rock, r&b, blues, jazz, folk, alternative… just as long as THEY GIVE ME LIFE, I will indeed, start a crazy dance party.
Then it’s OVER…
NOW GET TO WORK BITCH!
Cause guess why??
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers with lovers out there.
Happy Singles Awareness Day to all you lovers, who, like me, love things…
I love you.
Shannon Rose Allen
Yesterday would have been my mother’s 57th birthday.
It’s been a bit of a tough week for me. This is the time of the year where, in 2011, my mom’s diagnosis wasn’t going so well.
In a few months, (in fact, exactly three months from yesterday) it will mark the three year anniversary of Ro’s passing.
So instead of sitting here and being sad (which believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time doing in regards to this topic), I wanted to write a happy post about the things, my mother, Rosemary Allen, taught me.
1. How to be myself
Now this might seem like an obvious lesson. Everyone can talk about how their parents raised them to “be themselves,” but my mother would never let me be anything less than who I am, EVERY. DAMN. DAY.
Even if it meant letting me be the strange, obscure child I was.
I used to run around my house naked when I was little, and my mom, who was a total hippie, let me do whatever I wanted. My brother used to complain to her how weird it was, but she just responded, “Just let her do what she wants.”
I was a tom boy growing up, wanting so badly to be one of the boys. I would wear my brother’s hand-me-downs and never gave a shit what I looked like. I wanted to be friends with all the boys and had a secret fantasy that one day I would magically turn into a Ninja Turtle (Specifically Michaelangelo).
I’m so happy that my mother allowed me to be absolutely weird growing up. I’m so glad she didn’t push me to do anything I didn’t want to do. I’m so happy that she let me embrace my quirks, ie, my big glasses, my raspy voice, my crazy obsession with my stuffed animals, where I would pile them up on my bed and sleep on one, tiny area so they wouldn’t fall off.
My weirdness has made me the person I am today. My weirdness is who I am.
My mom let me explore every side of my creativity: singing, dancing, gymnastics, cheerleading, show choir, piano, flute (for a hot second), theater, and even said okay when I told her I wanted to start playing soccer. (I was terrible).
What if Ro pushed me to conform? Would I be the same person?
I’m happy to report that I am absolutely myself, 100% of the time.
And that’s, in large part, due to Ro.
2. How to take a stand
My mom would never stand for injustice, big or small.
I remember a specific instance where a friend and I were at Northeastern Ohio’s local amusement park, Geauga Lake, (RIP) and these teenagers cut us in line for a ride.
Ro was NOT having it.
If this happened today, she probably would have been brought to court by some overbearing parents, but Ro had no problem telling those kids that they were wrong for cutting in line.
Now does this matter in the long scheme of things?
Yes it does.
Because in that moment when I was 9 or 10, I was still learning about politeness and having integrity, no matter how big or how small.
I once watched my mom get into a fight with a grown man who was making fun of a handicap bagger at WalMart when I was in high school. At the time, my teenage self was absolutely embarrassed that she was getting into it with a complete stranger, but looking back, I wish I would have given that guy a piece of my mind.
We, as living and breathing humans, have a choice in these situations whether or not to speak up.
And Ro ALWAYS stood up.
3. How to NOT let people walk all over me
This one ties into the last point, but it more concerns me and my self worth.
There was a time in middle school that I don’t like to talk about. Let’s just say my life was like Mean Girls in middle school, except Tim Meadows wasn’t my cool principle, Tina Fey wasn’t my encouraging math teacher, and I didn’t have an artsy friend duo to fall back on when everything went to shit.
And it was not funny.
Well, I can remember falling apart and my mother telling me to stick up for myself. Yes, middle school was weird and awkward, and people were going to be mean, but that didn’t mean I had to sit back and be silent while people threw things at me in the hallway or kicked me out of lunch tables.
However, she also taught me not to fight fire with fire. Sometimes the best way to confront a bully is to let them know that they hurt you, and walk away. It might not feel like a lot when all is said and done, but standing up for yourself doesn’t always have to end with making the other person feel as hurt as you did when they bullied you.
Standing up for yourself means knowing your worth, and letting the other person know that you do.
4. How to dance to my own beat
I can’t stress enough how strange I was growing up.
I think the best people in this world are the ones who allow themselves to be weird, and more importantly, embrace it.
5. How to pursue a dream (and how NOT to give up on that dream)
I used to carry around a little brown and tan, hand-held tape recorder between the ages of 4 and 10. My mom and dad would buy me cassette tapes and I would record both sides with various songs, stories, variety shows (where I would fake interview people) for HOURS on end.
I would run around telling everyone I was going to be a professional singer when I grew up.
That seemed all fun and games until my teachers continued to tell me from elementary school to high school that singing simply wasn’t a plausible career.
After not getting into the University of Cincinnati’s College Conservatory of Music, I decided that all those teachers were right, and focused on a more practical major.
Then I decided to go to Berklee.
I remember the conversation with my family about Berklee. How it was going to be expensive, but that I truly believed I was talented enough to go there.
I remember Ro driving me through the snow storm on Feb 4, 2008 to my Berklee audition in downtown Cleveland. How I stressed out the entire ride because the traffic was awful, and then Berklee pushing my audition back three hours, and having to sit in the holding area with a know-it-all singer and her unbearable father.
But Ro kept me calm. And I got in.
And she was there for my very first gig in downtown Boston where I played only cover tunes in the smallest dive bar with shitty sound. And she danced with all the members of my band and bought us all food and drinks.
And I’m sure she would have been at my album release show if she were around.
Sometimes I can feel her when I’m auditioning for things. I can feel her energy pulsing through me. Her telling me to keep going.
Because I know she wanted me to keep going.
Let’s make that present tense: I know she wants me to keep going.
6. That it’s okay to cry
I’ve often been told that displaying emotions is a sign of weakness, but not to my mother.
Ro would always allow me to feel how I was feeling, regardless if I was being over-dramatic (which I often was).
I know so many people who are absolutely stoic; don’t display one iota of feeling for anything or anyone.
That might work for some people, but when something happens that forces those people to emote, things could get ugly.
Allowing myself to feel sad, or depressed, or upset about something, does not make me a bad person. It also does not make me weak. It makes me human. It makes me transparent; someone you can feel with, someone you can connect with, someone you can sympathize, or even empathize with.
7. How to find my own beauty
My mother would constantly say the phrase, “If you’re built anything like me, you’re built like a BRICK SHIT HOUSE.”
What she meant by this is that the Falasco and Allen women are built THICK. We have big legs, big thighs, big hips and usually weigh much more than we look.
Ro never told me this to make me feel bad, she told me this because it’s part of who I am, and she wanted me to learn how to embrace it.
The boys in middle school used to call me “Thunder Thighs” and I never understood why my thighs always touched when I walked, even though I was always a dancer and cheerleader and gymnast.
Ro also told me that if I didn’t want to, I never had to wear a bra, shave my legs, wear makeup or dress up. I’m so glad I grew up with a mother that embraced her beauty, because it has allowed me to embrace mine. Had I not grown up with this influence, I don’t know that I would have been able to withstand the standards of beauty that are thrown in my face every day working in the entertainment industry.
8. How to not give a FUCK
If there was ever a person who gave ZERO fucks when she didn’t want to, it was my mother.
One night, shortly before she passed, I remember being up at 2 a.m. eating a bag of Lays potato chips with my mom.
I remember her saying something along the lines of, “Sometimes I just want to eat a bag of chips, ya know?”
And together, we ate the entire bag… at 2 a.m… with ZERO fucks being given.
Another time in high school, my best friend Ashley was sleeping over and my mom walked downstairs with nothing but a t-shirt and underwear on, coming to say goodnight to us.
I looked at her and was said, “Ro! Put some pants on.”
And she looked at me and said, “What!? We’re all girls here.”
Boom. Zero fucks given.
9. That sometimes life SUCKS, but that doesn’t mean life is bad
I don’t want to dwell too much on this story, because it will make me sad, but there was a time when my mom’s oncologist gave her two to four weeks to live. She sat me down on the couch in our living room and delivered the news. I remember just hugging her and crying for what seemed like hours.
Despite doctors giving her a timeline, I believe my mother lasted two or three extra weeks beyond those four weeks she was given. She had basically no blood, no platelets, and was in liver failure, but you would have NEVER guessed by the way she acted. My mother was walking around, spending time with family and friends, and laughing and being happy.
THAT was the demeanor of a dying woman. THAT was a woman who faced death with grace.
She would send out emails to friends to update them on her condition, and every one of those emails ended in a positive quote.
My mothers situation SUCKED. She had stage-four cancer. But that did not define her.
She loved the life she had, and saw positive things when most people would not have.
10. How to Love
I need to remind myself of this one.
Lately I feel like my heart has turned to stone. Like I can’t open up to anyone and that I’ve let myself become impervious to not only pain, but love.
Ro loved like no one else. She was so passionate about my brother and I, my dad, her family, her friends, my baby Blue dog… hell, my mother would make friends and pay it forward to people she just met.
LOVE is what matters in this world.
Everything else is just details.
Thank you Ro.
I’ll see you on the other side.
Shannon Rose Allen
20. The Weather
Let’s be real. This is pretty much the first thing out of any New Yorker’s mouth when it’s raining, snowing, cold, hot, windy, sunny, cloudy, or even a reasonable temperature. New Yorkers will never cease at the opportunity to complain about the weather.
Lately we’ve being going through the period of the “polar vortex” and some people have said that New York is not as cold as other places in the country.
Yes, we are aware.
HOWEVER, most of us don’t drive and then THIS happens:
There is nothing worse than walking around on a rainy New York day and having the bottom half of your pants SOAKED in water, and then your umbrella turning inside out, ruining your perfectly straightened hair and causing your mascara to run all over your face.
DON’T even get me started on the summer months…
Although I’ll be completely honest, when people ask me if I would rather live anywhere else, I say no.
I grew up in Cleveland, where the weather was even more bat-shit crazy than here… I’ll survive.
19. Slow Walkers
We live in New York.
WE HAVE PLACES TO BE!!!!
GET OUT OF MY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
At least if you are going to be slow, please do not go all “Sex and The City” style on me and hold hands with your girlfriends and TAKE UP THE ENTIRE SIDEWALK. That is NOT how people walk here, despite what every movie or television show you’ve seen about New York tells you.
I actually have a lot of love for Hipsters. I also dress like one from time to time (those clothes are COMFY).
But I think the general consensus on why New Yorkers hate hipsters, is the pretentious attitude that goes along with the hipster persona.
Especially when this is true:
There is nothing worse than getting in a conversation with a hipster and them making you feel bad about literally every life choice you’ve ever made.
Or worse: makes you feel like an idiot for not knowing “that band” or shuns you for being “so mainstream.”
To which I reply:
17. Train Construction/Planned Service Changes
Oh that’s cute… you wanted to take that train from Midtown Manhattan to Brooklyn???
You are going to have to transfer at least twice, wait 20 minutes between trains and then pack yourself like a fucking sardine into the car because everyone else is trying to do the same thing as you.
16. The people that would rather live in LA than New York, but still live here…
Don’t complain to me how you hate everything about New York and can’t wait to move to LA.
And how New York is “so over,” and the industry is “all in LA.”
Just fucking do it!
No one is keeping you here!
Don’t sit around and shit on my city!
17. Hot Garbage
Here is the evolution of smelling hot garbage in July.
At first you’re like:
Then you’re like:
Then it really starts to hit you and you’re like:
Then you just get furious and you’re like:
Then you cry:
16. No Seamless or GrubHub delivery from a restaurant.
Wait??? We have to CALL and order our food? Or even worse… you don’t deliver??? I have to PICK IT UP!?!?!?
15. Anyone with a flyer
No! I do NOT want to go to the strip club, buy anything from your shitty electronics store that has been going out of business for months, or a coupon for your dry cleaning service that will probably lose my favorite dress shirt.
And when I ignore you, that is NOT an invitation to stick your flyer closer to my face.
14. Lines at Starbucks
Guy in front of you has a super complicated coffee order:
Then I get up to the counter and order something super simple. WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG FOR YOU TO FILL UP MY LARGE COFFEE WITH ROOM!?!?!
13. Trying to Hail a Cab and “gypsy” cabs slow down
I am a single, 20-something living in a big city.
No, I would not like to jump in your unmarked car and end up in the East River.
12. Pole Leaners
It’s okay, I didn’t want to grab on to a pole during rush hour on the subway or anything.
Clearly you are the ONLY ONE on the train right now because CLEARLY this is your own personal train.
To you, I throw SHADE:
11. Taxi drivers that treat you like tourists
I asked you to use the West Side Highway. But instead you chose to drive down Broadway… on a Friday night… at dinnertime.
You’re not getting a good tip.
I’m always happy to help a nice tourist with directions. I’m incredibly patient about answering questions. But DO NOT come to New York without doing your research.
This video will help you:
And you may THINK you look like this when you’re walking around the city:
But you really look like this:
We can spot you from a mile away.
9. Time Square/Herald Square
Every time I’m in these areas.
And then I just start plowing through the rows and ROWS of clueless people standing everywhere.
8. Hearing “IT’S SHOW TIME” on a subway train
There’s always a night on the train when my favorite song will come on my phone, and I’m quietly reading my New York Magazine. Content. Happy. Minding my own business…
“IT’S SHOW TIME!”
7. Having to Leave your Burrough
You live out at the end of the J line?
6. “Sorry, we’re CASH ONLY”
You get through your entire order at a restaurant/bar and then they’re like…
So then you’re like…
The rent is too damn high! Tell em Jimmy McMillan! LIKE A BOSS
4. Crowded, Sweaty, Loud Bars
Your friend drags you out to the hottest new club…
And you are bumping into everyone, spilling your drink all over your brand new dress.
So then you just say fuck it, and make due.
3. Alcohol Prices
If you’re like me, you enjoy going out on the weekends… and the weekdays… and Sunday during the day… and sometimes during the day in general…
So you go to a cute, new cocktail place and try out one of the fancy bourbon drinks.
“That will be $27.50. Would you like to open a tab?”
But you pay anyway… because you want to get drunk.
2. Time Warner Cable
They may wish to provide you with top-quality customer service…
But they won’t.
You want to pay a reasonable amount for cable and internet and still get the speed you need as well as all the channels you want???
Then you’ll tell them how another company quoted you something much less for an exorbitant amount more, but they don’t care.
Then you cry.
Dating in New York is a tricky one.
Usually the first date is a whirlwind of warm fuzzies. You feel like you’ve FINALLY made a connection with someone in a city with literally millions of people.
And there is cuteness…
Then sometime after this, the other person’s texts start to get shorter and shorter. And then they eventually disappear off the face of the earth.
And you’re all like, “What the hell happened??”
Then the overanalyzing starts.
And then you’ll casually text about meeting up, because you think there still might be hope.
And then you will see a “read receipt” that says the other person read that text, but get a text two days later saying, “SO SORRY! Just now seeing this… sorry I’ve been SO busy with work.”
Until you finally decide you’re going to confront this ass hole for making you a crazy bitch.
Then one the rage is over, acceptance sets in. You become your rational self again, and realize that it was the other person, not you.
Until your best friend tells you they just got engaged…
Then you’ll talk behind her back because you’ve just lost another single friend… leaving you out in the cruel world of dating.
Rinse and repeat.
Last year I gave my list of favorite 2013 GRAMMY performances.
You can read that here if you would like to relive last year’s performances: http://shannonallenmusic.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/my-top-six-grammy-performances/
Now, as a fellow musician, I have nothing but love and respect for everyone on this list. I also have lots of love and respect for the performers that I did NOT place on this list. I know that I’m probably going to have a few people who say, “Huh?” when they read this list, but the beauty about being an human being, is we are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions.
And being that we are all human beings, I hope we can all appreciate that.
And now I present to you, my top 10 2014 GRAMMY performances in descending order
I’ve been a fan of Lorde for quite some time. I remember discovering her EP and going, “HOW THE FUCK DOES NO ONE KNOW ABOUT THIS GIRL!?”
Flash forward to today and she’s a super star.
Now I will be honest: I thought her vocal performance was a tad weak, at least compared to other live performances of hers I’ve seen. However, I can’t even fathom what it would be like to be a 17-year-old performing at the GRAMMYS. Her stage performance was demonic and dark and twisted, and I LOVED IT.
The black tipped fingers sealed the deal.
I’m excited to see what’s in store for this young lady.
9. Beyonce and Jay-Z
I mean… It’s Queen Bey. The VOICE. The BODY. That OUTFIT!
I don’t know that this one needs a lot of explanation.
When Jay grabbed DAT ASS. COME ON! This couple is pure sex people!
8. Taylor Swift
Now I’m not the biggest Tay Tay fan. Not that I dislike her, but I’ve never been super crazy in love with her.
However, I thought her song and performance was just so REAL.
It was the first time I didn’t roll my eyes that she was singing a song about an ex. I felt for once that she was more than just a young girl trying to get back at an ex boyfriend in a song. She sounded like a WOMAN who was mourning love lost.
Awwwww Tay Tay you’re growing up! We’re all rooting for you!
7. Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar
First of all, can we ALL just take a moment to talk about the amount of percussion present in this performance?
I loved it.
Oh, and also, did I mention that Imagine Dragons are BERKLEE alum??? Yep. Reppin’ my alma mater like BOSSES!
When you watch the video, please note minutes 4.00 to about 4:35 where shit just gets CRAZY: Kendrick Lamar is rapping like a mad man, and then there is this smoke and color explosion where everyone on stage seems to get drenched in some kind of pink and red chalk-like substance. That BY THE WAY, Imagine Dragons proudly wore even as they sat back in their audience seats.
This performance was just bat-shit nuts.
6.Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Dave Grohl, Lindsay Buckingham
Now, I realize that rock music may not be what sells, especially at the GRAMMYS, but COME ON motherfuckers!!! Don’t you cut Trent Reznor off mid-performance! The man has a freaking Oscar for Christ sake!
I will also never tire of seeing Dave Grohl beat the shit outta some drums. Dave Grohl: You do no wrong in my book. Ever.
And Lindsay Buckingham!? Come on GRAMMY people!!! How you gonna cut him off????
NIN, Queens, Dave and Lindsay: I respect you too much. You deserved better than to be cut short by some bullshit credits. We all know awards shows run long. This is not a secret. I love you all.
5. Daft Punk, Pharrell Williams, Stevie Wonder, Nile Rogers
Get Lucky was absolutely the song of the 2013 summer. That bass line is DIRRRRRRRRRRTY! I don’t care that Pharrell looked like a park ranger, the Arby’s logo, or the Harry Potter sorting hat.
And didn’t everyone just LOVE when they started singing “FREAK OUT” and then “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.” DAFT PUNK YOU SILLY CREATURES! I LOVE YOU!
Don’t even get me started on Stevie. Everything he touches turns to gold.
Paul McCartney and Steven Tyler even felt the LIFE of this performance. When the camera cut to them dancing in the audience, it gave me warm fuzzies inside.
I’m so happy because I’ve been a Daft Punk fan for years and they truly deserve all the good juju that is coming their way.
Bravo, sirs. BRAVO!
4. Carole King and Sara Bareilles
I cried during this one.
Brave is one of those songs that NEVER ceases to get stuck in my head. And for Sara to perform it with QUEEN SONGWRITER Carole King??
My favorite was the “fan girl” Sara became after the performance was over. It shows you that no matter how much success you attain in your career, there is always room to be humble.
I’m also happy to see Sara get the recognition she deserves. Especially for a song that has such a strong and important message.
SANG ladies, SANG it out! LIVE YOUR LIVES ON STAAAAAAGE!
3. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr
This performance was very difficult for me NOT to put it at #1, because you ALL know how much I love The Beatles. Seeing Ringo and Paul together just tore my soul apart in the BEST possible way.
If you don’t like The Beatles, you have no soul.
I repeat: If you don’t like The Beatles, you have NO soul.
The Beatles completely changed the music industry in the 60s, and they are still absolutely relevant today in 2014.
And they will be relevant forever.
NO ONE can write a song like Paul McCartney.
Let’s also please take a moment for Paul’s psychedelic piano. Amazing.
Ringo, I have much love for you too darling! Please just understand that my love affair with Paul McCartney started from the moment my dad played me my first Beatles album, which was before I was even capable of forming memories.
Unfortunately I couldn’t find a good video, so I have this smaller clip.
We all bow down to the Fab Four. RIP George and John.
2. P!nk featuring Nate Ruess
Now this bitch is “fucking perfect to me.”
See what I did there.
P!nk is just hands down one of the best pop stars out there. She is a nasty songwriter, a killer performer, a fucking acrobat, and she seems so down-to-earth while completely maintaining a bad-ass/I-don’t-give-a-fuck persona.
The passion she gives while performing is just phenomenal.
I was lucky enough to see her at the Barclay’s Center in 2013 and it just left me speechless.
I honestly could not believe her vocal control when she was basically just flying though the air and dancing the entire show. Girl has some CHOPS. I feel like P!nk’s voice is one of the underrated pop voices today, but I dare any other singer today to challenge her with the kind of vocal endurance she has.
When she finally came down from twirling in the air she did this:
And then this:
Then she joined the very talented Nate Ruess of Fun for an amazing rendition of Just Give me a Reason.
She is the kind of artist I want to be.
Thank you P!nk.
The first video isn’t too great, but I couldn’t find anything better.
1. Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Mary Lambert, Queen Latifah, Madonna, and the 33 beautiful newly married couples
“A certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all/But it is a damn good place to start”
“Whatever God you believe in/we come from the same one”
THIS is what music is about. THIS is what is going to change the world.
Everyone who looks at this and has something hateful and judgmental to say, just think about how silly you will look when 20 years from now we’re all looking back on the Human Rights Movement, just like we look back on the Civil Rights Movement of the 60s.
Artists like these are the ones who change the world.
Now I know I left out some good ones: John Legend, that adorable country singer Kacey Musgraves, the Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Merle Haggard & Blake Shelton EXTRAVAGANZA, but I had to narrow it down to a solid 10.
I hope you enjoyed the music! I know I did.
I’m gonna keep on making my music until it’s me up on stage someday.
Until then: I salute all the music makers out there, whether they are GRAMMY winners, or in their basement making music that no one may ever hear.
If you work in my industry, these are words with which you are absolutely familiar.
Today, after three EXTREMELY long days of background work, I wanted to share my personal list of:
The 25 people you will meet while doing background work.
Yes, I understand that not all my readers are familiar with how my job works, but hopefully you too can find some humor in this post.
1. The guy who forgot his pen
This first one just baffles me. EVERY set we are required to fill out a talent voucher. Why you don’t have a pen is just BEYOND me. The only time I haven’t had a pen on set is when someone from the last set I was on stole mine, never gave it back, and I forgot to replace it. Now I just throw 20 pens in my set bag so that I’m never in this situation.
I actually had a guy offer to buy my pen off me two days ago because after working outside for 12 hours in the NYC blizzard, he just wanted to go home. The poor guy. I just gave it to him. HOWEVER… GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND HAVE A FUCKING PEN IN YOUR BAG. Come ON!
That’s Background 101.
2. The outspoken lady who knows EVERYTHING about the union and makes sure that EVERYONE in the entire holding knows
Oh lord. This one.
Listen, I always appreciate a good know-it-all, for the simple fact that they are a wealth of knowledge about some things that I would actually like to know. And what’s better is that there is never a union question too stupid for them because they just want to talk.
However, lady, you need to SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES ABOUT THE UNION BECAUSE NO ONE CARES! We also don’t care that you have a personal relationship with every PA and AD on various sets around the city, (because you don’t), or how long you’ve been doing background work, (forever), or that you were featured as a “female detective #14″ on Law and Order that ONE TIME.
We will solicit your knowledge as needed. K Thanks.
3. The guy who never actually does any background work and sits in holding all day
Some people are just the master of not working. This person will always sit in the corner of holding, with a hood above their heads, ear buds in. Whenever the background PA asks for volunteers, you will never see this person’s hand go up. He will spend the 8-14 hours on set reading a post-modern novel, or taking a nap.
He will always be first in line for lunch.
4. The angry old man
He looks something like this:
He hates EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Don’t tell him “Good Morning!” or worse, try to ask him how he’s been, because then you will get a 15-minute rant about why his life is awful and how NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO GET BETTER IN LIFE BECAUSE LIFE SUCKS AND IS AWFUL AND TERRIBLE AND THERE IS NO GOD.
Good to know.
5. The wildly inappropriate middle-aged man
There is one on every set.
That guy who is in his 40s who thinks it’s okay to grab a 20-something’s ass, whom he’s just barely met. I had one of these men tell me (after I commented on my muddy boots) that he would like to “lick them clean.”
I could honestly share story after story about this one. It’s amazing to me that these men are functioning members of society. No, I actually did NOT ask you to casually grab my arm when we are talking because it’s MY FUCKING PERSONAL SPACE.
Now go chase after some other poor girl before I knee you in the penis and balls.
6. The first-time fan girl
A newbie background actor is endearing. A first-time fan girl, not so much.
Seriously girl??? You’re going to ask for a picture with the hunky lead guy? REALLY??? We are around famous people all the time. They are at work and so are we. Pictures are for pedestrians. Let’s all be professional here and get back to work.
You’re making the rest of us look bad.
7. The kid who’s SO above it all/The Diva
Listen… NONE of us want to be background lifers (even though we know plenty of people who are). We all believe that we are good enough to be principle actors, or else we probably wouldn’t subject ourselves to being human props for 14 hours at a time. But there is no reason to act like you’re better than the rest of us… because guess what???
8. The eager one
I actually admire this person, because they genuinely excited to do just about anything from the production team 100% of the time. Not to say that I don’t love what I do, but being over-zealous to jump into a scene where I know I’m just a blurry blurb in the background is just not my style.
One time I was placed in the DEEP background of a pedestrian scene and a woman started taking deep breaths in and out thinking about what her “character” would be. Good for you girl! Get that acting. I’ll just be over here making fart jokes until they yell “rolling” and then I’ll walk normal through the shot 2-5 times and call it a day.
I’ll waste my talent and energy when the situation is appropriate.
9. The lady who thinks everyone loves her, but actually, no one can stand her
She never shuts up. She never stops complaining. She knows everyone. She’s a background lifer. She makes jokes that no one thinks are funny. She bends your ear about things you don’t care about.
Run away from her.
10. The stage parents
It’s funny to me watch these mothers fuss over their children being perfect, when really this is what they’re thinking:
11. The conspiracy theory guy
Yesterday on set I literally had a guy ask to borrow my phone so he could show me a theory about how famous Renaissance artists were actually painting images reflective of a black hole in space.
Or something like that. I don’t know… my eyes glazed over in about five minutes.
Then he started talking about how robots are going to take over the world and start reproducing, and humans are going to become obsolete, unless we create a self-sustaining utopia.
I can’t MAKE this shit up.
12. The guy who ALWAYS has a piece of crafty in his hands
I love this guy! He knows exactly where the crafty table is, what’s worth getting, what you must stay away from, and is ALWAYS willing to share!
For those of you who don’t know the lingo, “crafty” just stands for the craft food service table. Just think the “snack table.”
Crafty guy never has a problem sneaking away even when production is ready to call “rolling,” and will usually return five minutes later with one plate for himself, and a coffee (exactly the way I like it) for me!
Crafty guy, Shan Baby salutes you!
13. The person who never fails to share their personal resume with every person they encounter on set
I don’t care how many times you’ve been on Blue Bloods, or Nurse Jackie, or that you’re core on The Following.
We’ve all pretty much worked the same shows in New York.
You’re not special.
Also… I’m not a casting director, so you are wasting your time bragging to me, because I don’t care.
14. The non-union person who bends your ear about why their career is so much better because they are non-union/The union person who bends your ear about why their career is so much better because they’re union.
Unfortunately these conversations are un-avoidable. There will always be the pro-union people and the anti-union people. We can argue all day long about non-union commercials disappearing when you join SAG, or why it’s worth it to join SAG and work less, for more.
The argument is endless, and no one will ever leave this conversation anything other than angry or confused.
I’m guilty of getting into several of these conversations. Sigh.
Let people decide whether they want to join the union on their own.
I’m tired of talking about acting… let’s go back to fart jokes.
15. The union person who thinks they are an A-list actor because they do union background work
We all hope this will happen:
But until it does… you are nothing but a background actor.
16. The complainer
After I got into wardrobe the other day, I had a woman come up to me and complain about how her week was awful, and how she hated the way her costume fit, and how she was worried about getting sick in the cold, and how there was no more eggs at breakfast, and how her coffee was too hot, and that she had a zit on her face, and that her shoes were too tight, and her daughter was mad at her, and blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
When she was finally done, I turned to her and said, “I’m sorry to hear that, but my week was FABULOUS!”
She shut up.
17. The socially awkward one
Doesn’t know how to interact with people, so chooses a profession where he has to be around people all day!
18. The actor/model
I’m jealous that ever time a show is looking for a “model type” that you can apply in addition to all the posts for us “normal” people. Stop being so damn pretty!
While you’re looking all pretty… this is me at the crafty table:
19. The actors/singers/theater people
Oh this is DEFINITELY something I’m guilty of being. After we get to a certain hour, the singing starts happening… complete with theatrics.
My favorite recent relapse of theater behavior was being dressed in 1900s attire skipping around with an umbrella for a prop, singing “Let’s Go Fly A Kite,” at the top of my lungs.
Then everyone joins in, but there is that ONE GUY, who is annoyed.
And to him, I say:
20. The young charmer guy
Now I know I might take some flack for this… but this guy is usually from Jersey or Long Island, has a thick accent, probably Italian, buff, good looking, and hits on EVERY WOMAN on set.
And then there is…
21. The pretty/innocent girl who is charmed by the young charmer
22. The career advice guy
Somehow I always end up getting myself into these conversations with people older and “wiser” (note the sarcasm) about how I should “never give up,” and “keep going,” regarding my career.
No matter how many times I tell them that I’m definitely not giving up anytime soon, it’s like they just ignore me and continue to give me positive reinforcement. I have to imagine in their mind they imagined me coming up to them, about to throw in the towel with acting, and begged them to give me their “expertise” advice.
From then on, whenever I see these people, they point and wink at me and say, “Don’t you give up now, Shannon. You’re talented!”
23. The DEMENTORS from Harry Potter who literally SUCK THE SOUL RIGHT OUT OF YOU
The complainer, the grumpy old man, and a few others are close to this, but the Dementor is just on a whole OTHER level.
They will literally suck all the joy out of you until THIS happens:
The Dementors have the ability to ruin days on set.
Damn soul suckers.
24. The person who only knows how to talk about background work and refuses to talk about anything else
I have lots of interests.
I’m sorry you don’t.
I’m going to go talk to someone who does.
25. The normal people
So finally, after all the bullshit, I will find those friends on set that I love and respect.
We giggle and sing and talk about things OTHER than background work. We quote movies and play games in holding. We don’t make stupid stories up about our “character” when we talk through sets. We can fill out a W2 and I9 in our sleep and always bring extra layers/gloves/shoes/socks for whatever inclement weather we are going to face. We commiserate with each other when there are crappy circumstances on set, but never go into bitchy, crazy complain mode. We find silver linings in everything. We sleep on each other’s shoulders in holding. We share tips about the best way to take shits on set. The hair/makeup/wardrobe department LOVE us, as do the PAs and the AD because we are nice and agreeable. We don’t talk to the leads, unless for some reason they want to talk to us (which sometimes happens because we are awesome). We get drinks with each other after long days.
These people make everything worth it.
So there you have it.
I work with crazy people.
Such is the life of a performer.
We’ve all been at least one of these people. Hell… I’m guilty of several of these numbers, some of which I’m less proud of than others.
So cheers to all the struggling actors, performers, theater kids, singers, musicians out there. Paying our dues is part of the process, and I’m happy to say that I get to work on television and movie sets until I “make it big.”
Shan Baby the crazy actress/singer/musician/performer/outrageously theatrical/loud/driven lady
If you live in 2014 (which if you’re reading this, you absolutely do, or perhaps you are a zombie??) then you’ve used all of these words in everyday life.
I use these words daily.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I don’t believe words have power over us. As much as I would like to believe that the word “bitch” and “slut” and “whore” can become meaningless as long as we choose how we use them, I don’t always believe that’s true.
I’m writing this post in response to the overwhelming flood of opinions about the HBO show, GIRLS, which had a two-episode premier the other night.
My 26-year-old self, loved it, but as I turned to Facebook, I realized everyone did not share my sentiments.
Many viewers saw GIRLS as making women seem “weak,” “unmotivated,” and possessing “shallow” relationships with their friends.
I needed to dig a little deeper to see what this is all about.
And I think it comes down to a few things.
The first being a generational difference.
GIRLS is a show that can appeal to women and men of all generations, HOWEVER, I believe there is a disconnect between millennials and those of generations previous.
According to Wikipedia, “Millennials, or the Millennial Generation, also known as Generation Y, are the demographic cohort following Generation X. There are no precise dates when the generation starts and ends. Commentators use beginning birth years from the early 1980s to the early 2000s.”
We are known as the “Peter Pan Generation.” Our elders call us “lazy,” “self-centered,” “self-righteous.” We are the generation who flounders. The generation who was promised the world by our parents and teachers, only to graduate high school or college amidst a depression where no jobs were available to us.
So why the hell would anyone expect a show that is supposed to be a real depiction of 20-something girls in New York City to be anything different than just that?!?
I don’t want to watch a show where girls in New York City live the life of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.
As entertaining as Sex in the City was, that simply is NOT the reality anymore.
I love GIRLS because I see MYSELF in these women. If I want to fantasize about what I would love my life to be like living in New York, all I have to do is pick up an issue of Vogue. BUT, if I want to watch a snarky, slightly-exaggerated, albeit quirky version of what it’s like as a 20-something woman, I will watch GIRLS.
My next issue, is with women bashing on other women.
One big argument a lot of women put on Facebook was how these women seem “weak” and how they longed for the characters to appear “stronger.”
Why isn’t it okay to show a vulnerable woman? If we, as feminists, are TRULY fighting for women’s equality, why can’t we embrace both ends of the spectrum??
Why do we, as women, have to go around judging other women CONSTANTLY. Do we feel the need to make ourselves feel prettier, stronger, better, more successful??? Why must “slut-shaming” be a term, which we are so familiar?
Isn’t it okay that women in today’s world want to find out who they really are? Isn’t it okay that some women want to find husbands and others want to find careers, and others want BOTH!?
Isn’t it okay that women want to air out their dirty laundry for the world to see, because that makes them more liberated, or human, or just because they fucking CAN!?
We need to stop saying that women in the media are “setting women back,” or “giving women a bad name,” because the fact of the matter is, in 2014, we HAVE A NAME.
The fact that some women demean other women for their choices, ironically gives THEM the label as setting women back.
This world is a big place, full of “smart” women, and “dumb” women, and “sluts” and “whores,” and “Madonnas,” and “prudes,” and “ugly” women, and “over-sexualized” women, and “crazy” women, and “psychotic” women, and “emotional” women, and “driven” women, and “liberal” women, and “conservative” women, and “sluts,” and “bitches,” and “CUNTS.”
There is room for everyone on this earth, and if you really see yourself as a feminist, we can either choose to embrace this an move forward with our own lives, or continue to shame other women, thus keeping us all down.
Just some food for though.
Signed, a crazy, emotional, smart, driven, floundering, sometimes unstable, sometimes stable, BITCH
Shannon Rose Allen